i just got my results and i didn't make it for honors. i actually missed by one mark. this feels like A levels all over again. each time i want something so bad and work hard toward it, i get busted right in my face. it's like a curse that i watch my favourite thing or most desired slip away right before me, to get my heart and soul broken all over again. even though i may not love criminology that much anymore, it means a lot to be able to make it for honors, to show that i didn't come here all the way to not make the cut, that i'm still not good enough in the area that i'm supposedly good at. i sensed it coming, this. still it is no less heart-breaking when it actually happened.
my life is a fucking joke.