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Sunday, May 20, 2007

hmm. i'm bored, so let's talk about 10 random things:


1) Peter Jackson sucks.
2) i can't believe Melissa R didn't win that competition! i mean she has the whole package!! the judges gotta be blind or something. Asia is so fugly & whorish! ARGH. i got so upset after the finale episode. this goes to show that the best doesn't always win, or the winner may not necessarily be the best. nvm Mel, you don't need the PCD, you can do better on your own!
3) i have to sleep with 2 pillows (unless you can give me 1 high pillow).
4) i'm beginning to like not wearing bra at home. i can understand why girls do it now! :D
5) i can't stop thinking about Monica's work laughter (in season 5). it never fails to make me laugh ALL THE TIME (i am now). even when i'm about to sleep.
6) when i see a sunny day in Melb, the first thing that comes to my mind is.. doing the laundry.
7) i think i'm homophobic.
8) i'm getting bad hair days nowadays :(
9) Mary's been missing in action! whatever happened to your blog?!! again!
10) i want to go near people but i can't or rather i can't let people come near me.


with regards to the last point, it's just something i learnt from my behavioural studies research proposal. my topic was on attachment styles, and i chose it because i wanted to know why i'm like that. so this is part of the research findings (i even referenced it uh!) :

Generally, three main types of attachment styles are found - secure, avoidant, and anxious/ambivalent. A secure attachment indicates having confidence that the attachment figure will be available and respond, sensitively and open to the need for proximity (Prior & Glaser 2006, p. 25). Avoidant attachment is deemed to stem from consistent negligent or rejection by caregivers during development. More avoidant individuals appear to be cynical and indifferent about the intentions of their attachment figures and others (Simpson & Tran 2006, p. 9). Hence, they tend to disengage themselves (emotionally) from others when possible. Anxious/ambivalent attachment, on the other hand, is understood to be a result of inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving during development. More anxiously attached individuals are insecure about whether they are worthy of love, fear rejection, and contemplate about the presence of their attachment figure (Simpson & Tran 2006, p. 9).

i'm not trying to point fingers here, i know my parents did the best they knew how to bring me up. i guess i'm somewhere in between avoidant & anxious/ambivalent (more towards avoident i reckon). it's just some self-awareness thing, but i really don't know what to do about it. i don't like or know how to deal with people & emotions. i just try my best to keep things simple for myself. and that i know means i should go back to my 'beloved' criminology :/



so long, adíos amigas!

.shan. [1:47 PM]









++ || Shan || ++

WARNING
This is a doodle spot.
What you read may hold
certain amount of truth,
OR not at all. Digest
this at your own risk.

## in-sight of me ##
?compassionate
?meticulous
?herbivore
?non-conformist
?neat freak
?ambidextrous
?random
?introvert