Wednesday, January 17, 2007
'You'll get over it...' It's the cliches that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit. Why would i want them to?
The fluttering in the stomach goes away and the dull waking pain. Sometimes i think of you and i feel giddy. Memory makes me lightheaded, drunk on champagne. All the things we did. And if anyone had said this was the price i would have agreed to pay it. That surprises me; that with the hurt and the mess comes a shaft of recognition. It was worth it. Love is worth it.
~written on the body by jeanette winterson.
.shan. [2:30 PM]