i haven't been feeling well, just so alone. cold and unloved, as if i'm cut off from e rest of the world. from all the pple i love, from all the pple tt i know. what breaks my heart most is that e pple i love forget abt me or have alr left me. if u tell me u can't tk e distance, e internet n phone is just nt enough. n do u think it's enough for me? if u were to have only 1 long-d relationship w someone u love, then what abt me? i have no choice but tk all the relationships across e distance, i dun ever think u can imagine how tt feels. n when all of them start to drift away from me, the strumming of pain in my heart resonates.

ya sure it's easy to say go to a new place n make new frens. maybe it's easier if everyone's younger cos as pple grow older, they tend to be more selfish. nobody is gonna give 10 sec to think abt u, much less care abt how ur feeling. i'm nt trying to dwell on my misery, but i can't seem to get a grip. i can't find anything to hold on to, anyone that understands what i'm going thru or how i am feeling. it's like i've been banished into a cold dark dungeon, where i could c no light n feel no warmth; n no one's just coming to my rescue. it's like i'm forgotten, like i din exist.

i drag myself up to bed every morning, n watch time pass me by w/o any sympathy. life has become an obligation, like the trees in autumn. the fact that i can't get outta this dungeon extinguishes all my hopes, it kills me n i just can't stand living in so much pain. n the ultimate torture is knowing that someone u really loved has changed into someone so cold. it's like a tragedy that happened right before u & u can't stop or avoid it, n things will nv be e same again.