Tuesday, October 18, 2005
everytime u think that things cannot get worse than they already r, u find that there is another deeper hole. there is no end to sufferings, seldom a cure for it. life is so unpredictable, i can no longer be certain of anything anymore. i used to believe that pple shld save e best for e last, but no, i dun believe anymore. it's juz like u save ur fav dish for e last, but u realize tt when u come to e last, which is ur fav dish, ur either alr full, or it has turned cold or worse, someone has finished it. u dun get to enjoy it.. so y keep holding back when u dunno wat's gonna happen nxt? i dun mean to live for e moment, but smtimes pple tend to get so bogged down by e consequences or obsessed w being right that they choose to do things that they dun agree or r reluctant to. it takes courage to defy it, it takes u to listen to ur heart & instincts. but tt is e problem, many dun listen & live to regret. i dun wanna b like that, but at many times i've been forced to bow down to pressure.
love can be a burden. too. it's sthg pple give u & u can't reject it. but admire e fact tt they're giving it at their own expense. how often can u do sthg w/o upsetting ur loved ones? can u help e way u think or do? to put it in a selfish way, it is ur life. u live w it ultimately so who r u to ctrl it? "it's for ur own good" oh really? nt all e time i reckon.. it's abt pride. it's juz like punishments in e past, e State punished based on e offence nt on y e offence is committed. how many can realise tt? doing sthg wrong may not b wrong b'cos it is nt socially acceptable. pple judge things on e surface & condemn u when ur nt normal. is anybody normal in e 1st place? dun u have any weird habits? or issit that u do nt dare to stand out of e crowd & admit tt u r different such tt u force urself to lead a life of wat everyone else is blindly leading? till time has passed, u look back & regret: gosh, i shld've done tt.. by then, it's too late. we can't turn back e hands of time..
.shan. [7:01 PM]