Saturday, September 24, 2005
oh well, it's been a wk since i've blogged. hah.. longest so far. busy catching up on my assignments & feeling fatigue lately. dis is wat happens when u haven't been eating proper meals.. wat to expect? cooking tks up so much time & energy. k fine, excuses watever.
well smtimes when u least expect sthg to happen, tt's when things happen. gd or bad.. but i think tt no matter wat i think tt there will b plus & minuses in life tt we've gotta live w. smtimes i think tt God is fair as in at my lowest, he springs surprises & gives me e strength to move on. but smtimes things get so fucked up & screwed tt u dunno how to get outta e sticky situation then u'd b blaming God for being unfair to u. tt's life.. full of contradictions. so r human beings.. say thing & do otherwise. nevertheless, i dun think i can ever adopt a religion. i believe in fate.. but nt say tt we do nth abt our lives & juz sit back & wait for things to happen. i mean, wat's urs is urs. even if u fought for it, at least u know tt it's nt meant to b urs b'cos u tried & u din get it. besides my cynicism & pragmatism, i feel tt religion is juz a form of relief, escapism; smthg to put ur mind at ease. yes, Man r constantly in self-denial & they juz refuse to accept reality. i look at e atrocities happening arnd e world & i thot to myself: do those pple deserve it? y r sm pple born to suffer? dis world will nv b equal, no matter how long. there muz b inequality in order for a society to function in proper.. pple filling up different roles w diff status. it depends on ur luck, ur ability to bring u smwhere in life.
there're simply too much tragedies in life tt i've witnessed tt made me lose faith in praying although i pray to (whichever God) like every other religious man tt things will somehow turn out rite for pple who're suffering in silence. i mean i'm nt devout but praying is all tt i can do, i would help if i could.. i juz wish pple can b more appreciative of wat they have nw (which includes me). look arnd u & imagine wat's a life w/o those thing, those pple.. it mks a whole lot of difference..
.shan. [6:07 PM]